Perfectionism
[!Why perfectionism?]- ego: tries to protect us from shame/embarrassment
How to Overcome Perfectionism (and the Anxiety it Causes) - College Info Geek - YouTube
If I look perfect, live perfect, work perfect, I can avoid or minimize criticism, blame and ridicule - 20-ton shield that we carry around hoping that it will keep us from being hurt - it prevents us and our needs from being seen
- When perfectionism is driving
- shame is in the passenger seat
- Fear is the backseat driver
Definition of perfectionism¶
[[Progress]] and Perfectionism are opposites
Spectrum
Adaptive¶
- internally motivated by their high standards
- not compromising their self esteem
- not hyper critical of their work or themselves
- invest massive time & energy into projects
Maladaptive¶
- pressure to meeting impossible standards
- setting yourself to fail
- Procrastinate
- tasks are monumental
- constantly tweaking and not publishing
- Anxiety and depression
- Concern about what others think
Since nothing is perfect - you keep on doing the next thing and the next thing ...
Would you consider yourself a perfectionist?
- I'm not good enough to be a perfectionist
How to address¶
- Give yourself time
- reframe: rest is equally as important as working
- work out: breaking muscle down
- rest: building that muscle back up
- realistic deadlines
- Self compassion
- Change where you look for validation
- social media likes
- pay raises
Alternative to Perfectionism¶
Mastery & Excellence & Healthy striving - internally focused
Perfectionism * what will people think? - comprehensive knowledge or skill in a subject or accomplishment
[[ADHD Samskaras#I'm not ready]]